Map the repeated problem
Choose one category: calendar, communication, workload, money, decision-making, emotional labor, or home responsibilities. Write the last three times the issue occurred.
For each example, note what was requested, what you agreed to, what it cost, and what you wished you had said.
Identify the access point
Ask how the request reaches you. Is it a direct message, a meeting invitation, a family call, an informal hallway conversation, or a shared task list with no owner?
A boundary is easier to follow when the access point changes. You might move requests to email, require lead time, define office hours, or assign a single intake channel.
Write the rule
Complete this sentence: “When _____ happens, I will _____ because _____.” Keep the rule behavioral and within your control.
Example: “When a project request does not include a deadline and owner, I will ask for those details before accepting it because I cannot prioritize undefined work.”
Rehearse the phrase
Practice one short response aloud. Options include: “I cannot commit until we choose what moves,” “I can review two pages, not rewrite the document,” or “I am not available after six; send emergencies through the agreed channel.”
Rehearsal reduces the chance that anxiety will write the response for you.
Related support and reading
For workplaces and organizations, training can turn these patterns into shared language, healthier expectations, and more sustainable team practices. Learn more about organizational training or browse the Hicks Consulting resource library.